I have always struggled with my weight. I struggle with confidence in myself, my abilities and sometimes standing up for myself just because I don’t feel like I’m normal or valued. I can’t even begin to explain how frustrated I have been when I consider how long I have tried to eat healthy and exercise. It is extremely hard for me to lose weight. A lot of times I feel stuck in this body that I don’t feel belongs to me. I am trying to work on being positive and happy with where I am, but at the same time trying to overcome this weakness I’ve been given. I’m trying to be thankful for a healthy body. I have no health issues or health problems, and I eat healthy and exercise. But for some reason my body likes to hold on to everything.
I know many people struggle with this. I think most women do at some point in their lives, no matter what size they are. I have felt alone sometimes though. There are lots of times that I have not felt like I wanted to go to an event or gathering because I have not felt comfortable in my own body. I am often tired of wearing the same dresses that I always wear because I don’t want to see myself in jeans or other clothes that are tighter fitting. I am sure I have missed a lot of great opportunities to meet new people and missed great experiences because I didn’t put myself out there.
I have however realized that I do not need the world’s approval about how I look to feel good about myself. I have come to realize how important it is to be happy throughout my own process, not just when I meet my goals. I love the person that I am and I know that I am a daughter of God. I know He has created me the way I am without making any mistakes. When you look at an overweight person, don’t automatically assume that you are looking at a person who has poor eating habits or chooses to have a sedentary life style. Sometimes it is far from the truth. The impact the insecurity of being overweight has had in my life, I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy and, by the way, for a lot of years my worst enemy was myself. No one needed to call me any names, I had plenty of those for myself.”
I am choosing to let go of my own insecurities. I am learning to feel happier about myself. I am trying to live healthy. I have a wonderful husband and kids who love me no matter what size I am. I don’t want to waste any more time worrying about other people’s opinions or judgments. I am striving to be healthy and I am working on a better version of me, because I can always improve. Believing in myself and seeing myself as God sees me, is a great responsibility. As a famous quote says…”You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.
